WASHINGTON, D.C. – A Pyongyang traffic warden has received a prestigious “DPRK Hero” award for “death-defyingly” protecting the leader in an “unexpected situation,” a North Korean TV news broadcast reported yesterday.

“For doing what any traffic warden could do, the dear marshall generously let me join the party yesterday, and awarded me the title of the republic today,” a visibly emotional Ri Kyong Sim told North Korean state TV after the award ceremony.

While no details of the events leading to the award have been revealed by North Korean media, a continuous focus on the